A Little Brag

Is there anyone out there that home schools their children, that doesn't worry and wonder if your kiddos are really learning everything they need to know? Do you panic thinking you've created massive craters in the fabric of their learning...   and they'll never get into college... or find a job... or a spouse... or be able to support themselves....   and they'll be living in your basement forever, because you FAILED?  Anyone else ever have those moments of terror?  


Of course, the "normal" thing to do is turn them over to the public school system where the experts in education can do a superior job teaching your children.  Every time I think I'm comfortable with what we're doing, one of the many traditional schoolers I know asks me or my children something (just for the record, I NEVER give public school kids pop quizzes...  I'm just sayin') and I find myself thinking, "I don't know!  Have we studied that?  Do they know that?  Obviously they're supposed to!"  And I'm taking a ride on the worry rocket again.  


Why is it so easy to believe the principles, but such a  huge leap sometimes to trust the process?  First of all, I have to say, shame on me for not seeing those small, daily testaments.  I'm sure they're there, but I'm too busy worrying to stop and appreciate their simple beauty (note to self...   look for them!).   I do ADORE those times when it's made very clear to me that we're doing positively fine.  It confirms my faith in the process I SAY I believe in, but too often doubt.  


Over the years, we've tried on many home school methods, from your more traditional "school-at-home" textbook variety, to total unschooling where we just live and learn together without regard to much formal curriculum at all.   I can say honestly we've leaned much more towards the relaxed than rigid side.   

Taylor, who just turned 15, decided to go to public high school this year.  I know it wasn't meant as an offense (I like to think the best of people whenever possible), but the many exclamations of, "well good for you!" from friends and acquaintances upon hearing  this, seemed to imply that he had finally come to his senses and conquered over his ridiculous mother and her insane desire to teach her own and clawed his way free (am I a little sensitive do you think?).   Secretly I was worried that he was behind and not at all prepared for the rigors of high school.  Well, might I brag for just a moment?  He's handling football practice and games, plus all his classes and homework (including advanced English and science) just fine.  He's taking his MAP tests this last week or so and is scoring amazingly well (just like I always knew he would).  

Zachary is 18 and wants to start community college this winter. He took his entrance exams today...   and passed with NO problem.   Now, a cynic might say, that the "rigors" of public school aren't all they're cracked up to be so it's not such a triumph after all, and that our educational system has problems which need to be addressed.  In which I case I ask, why am I such a weirdo for teaching my own?  Seriously.  The other point of view is that textbooks and schools with their rigid time schedules, well prepared teachers, and thoughtfully crafted scope and sequence, are NOT the only or best way to learn.  Hmmmm...   ponder that for a minute.  Taylor's highest MAP score so far?  Science (and  let's just say that's never been a big focus of ours in the traditional sense).

Will I worry again?  Sigh.  Probably.  I need to work on that.  And  I'm starting right  now to watch  each day for that evidence that assures me we're ok.  I know I'll find it.