That Ghandi was a wise man

I've been thinking about a quote a read a while back.  

This is true.  But we all do it, don't we?  We all believe things, and yet we don't live them.  We believe in being kind, yet sometimes we aren't.  We believe in being forgiving, but sometimes it's easier said than done.  And we all say we want to be better, but then we don't always make the commitment and do the work it takes to actually be better.  Of course no one is perfect.  But the number of things I believe, and yet don't do is....  uncomfortable.  

I'm generally a fairly private person when it comes to personal struggles and issues. My own family rarely knows what goals I'm working on.  I know plenty of my shortcomings are obvious, and I guess I don't want to be brutally honest about all of them.  It's not out of pride...  (okay, maybe it is)...  it's just that if I blab about a certain area I'm trying to improve, and I fail, then everyone will know about it instead of just me.  Which just deepens the disappointment (or the humiliation)... and the fear of failure, for someone that already has a healthy dose.  Please tell me someone out there can relate to that.  

But I've been thinking for some time of being brave enough to use this blog to hold myself more accountable by letting everyone in on some part of life I struggle with.  I would hope that it would help me stick to my efforts better (and make fewer excuses) so as to not suffer the above mentioned humiliation.  And yeah, I know you have so much going on in your own life that you probably don't care whether or not I reach my goals. But as long as it's out there I think I'll work harder (I hope).  

The beginning of a new year is as good a time as any, right?  Honestly, not a New Year's resolution maker.  Resolutions are just wishes.  Goals are plans of action.  I'd rather set goals.  That means deciding what you want, and outlining the steps needed to get there. I've learned to be a great goal setter.  But I let the many little fires of everyday life take my focus away from what I decided was truly important to me, and then I make excuses, and then forget, and then I fail.  Believing in something and not living it....  

So on New Year's day I'll take a deep breath, lay out my biggest challenge, and get started.  And if it bores you to tears to follow along, it's perfectly okay.  If you don't tell, I'll never know.  I hope it'll still give me the kick in the behind I need. 

Changes

The only constant in life is change (according to Heraclitus of Ephasus at least, but I believe him).  Sometimes life is kind of static, and then there are big seasons of change that wash over us like a blustery storm.  I'm in the middle of one of those seasons right now, which is one reason I haven't blogged in 5 months.   Don't get me wrong, storms aren't all bad.  I like a good rainstorm now and then.  I enjoy the beauty of a brooding sky and love the smell of outdoors after rain.  But change can also be disorienting. 

In the past 6 months or so, my oldest child got married, and second oldest moved out.  I went back to college after 24 years.  We decided to sell our home in the country of 18 years, and move to town.  My "baby" gave up "nee-nees" (nursing), and diapers (like I said, change isn't all bad).  Sadly, I also had a good friend of 12 years pass away unexpectedly and suddenly, leaving a hole in the life of her husband, 4 young children, and those who knew her.  Change can be  challenging, often unexpected, and not always pretty.  

Still, I believe that ultimately, most change is good.  It's the adjusting to it that seems to give me fits. For a unashamed planner, who is never far from her notebook and highlighter, going with the flow is just counter-intuitive (even though it's surely the smarter choice).  

Here are a few things I've learned through some of these changes.

1.  Once children leave your home...  they're still going to need you a lot.  

2.  Algebra is hard.  Statistics may be harder.

3.  Homework takes WAY more time than I ever remember (of course I was single and childless then).

4. "House Hunters" is a lie. Buying and selling a house is not that fun or easy.

5.  Always follow promptings.  Not doing so meant missing out on the chance to tell a great man what a wonderful influence he was on this earth. Doing so allowed me to visit with my friend Angi just days before she died, and that is a precious memory to me.  Lesson learned.  

6.  Children grow at light speed and before you know it they're gone.  People before things (and that includes laundry).  

7.  This too shall pass... and when it does something else will take it's place. "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" (John Lennon), so just enjoy the simple things.  

8.  My life is not as focused on the important things as it is the urgent things.  And I need to change that.  

9. The simple life isn't what I thought it was.  And I wish I'd learned that sooner.  But better late than never.  

10.  From chaos springs new life.  (I'm counting on that).  But it can be a slow process. 

This is an example of my current chaos.  Our current dining room has looked liked this for 2 weeks already. Note the absence of an actual table. It will be weeks before my new dining room is put together (after the move next week there are wood floors to refinish before furniture comes in).  For right now, I remind myself to just breathe, and remember #s 4, 6, 7, 8, and 10.  It's all good.  

Wedding

For those who missed it, couldn't be there for all of it, or just wanted to see it again...   here it is.  All of these gorgeous photographs are thanks to our wonderful photographer Sara. 

Caitlin and Neil met this past spring.  

And before we knew it, we were planning a fall wedding.  11/11/11 to be exact.  

It was a beautiful autumn day. 

Bride and Groom with some of both families on the temple steps.

I LOVE this!  I'm not sure what these men were laughing about, but I love the happiness, and how Caitlin stands out like a princess among them.

Neil and Caitlin with Neil's parents, Richard and Francisca.  We're so happy to be family now!

We had to have our turn too!

There's a story behind that scowl.  Chloe was convinced for some time that she was also marrying Neil.  So..when she saw them come out of the temple in wedding clothes, she knew she'd been left out.  There were a lot of tears.  In this picture, she still wasn't having any of the attempts to make amends.  

We're proud of the choices they made that brought them to this place on  this day.  We're so happy to see them begin their life together and pray that God will give them all blessings they can hold.

And then it was time to party!

The tables were absolutely stunning thanks to the beautiful chair covers, as well as the lovely centerpieces that Alicia made.    Mauricia and her sisters made all the Mexican food..  and it was GOOD! So many people loaned us things, advice, and help to put this reception on. We appreciate them all!

Caitlin chose some beautiful bridesmaids.

Is it really a party without chocolate?  I think not.  

I may be a little biased, but I think they make a beautiful couple.

This is Neil's "Padre" from Arizona,  who's loved him like a son for so many years.  He was so happy to have him here!

Cake cutting time!

Caitlin wanted dancing.  It was a good choice.  Everyone had so much fun!

Neil danced with his mom.

Caitlin danced with her dad.

Everyone ate, and laughed, and danced.  As Caitlin said once, "Wedding receptions are such happy places!"  This one certainly was.  

Before we know it, it'll be her turn.  Which makes me want to cry like a baby just typing it.  Because Caitlin was this big just five years ago...   well, ok, maybe more than five... but that's what it feels like.