Happy New Year!!

To me, the start of a new year is September, not January.  They should move New Years to 
September.  I think anyone with kids kind of sees it this way too.  January's the halfway point, right?  Well, I'm starting this "new year" with some excitement, some anxiety, some fear, and lots of questions!  


As a home school family, each year has looked different.  Different needs, courses of study, interests to follow, groups to belong to, activities to be involved in.  Each year I think we've made bigger changes than ever, only to discover the next year, I feel the same again.  But still I say, this year may have the biggest changes ever!  I'm NOT the adventurous type.  Not unless that adventure is well planned, far in advance, will all variables and bases covered.  (I'd be a blast on a road trip, wouldn't I?) But I'm trying to see this all as a big adventure and hang on for the ride.  


My oldest is engaged.  She's getting married this November.  She is blissfully happy, and therefore, so are we, because mothers love to see their children happy, don't we?  But what a big change this will be for us!  We will be losing a housemate, but gaining a son (and a great one at that).  And frantically pulling together a wedding that is 10 weeks ago.  The adventure is beginning!


My second oldest is on a waiting list for his own apartment, and when his name comes up, he'll be moving out.  All this "moving out" business has it pros and cons.  Pro:  more room for everyone left here  Con: less children, laughter, and conversation around the table.  I know it's time.  It'll be good for him to stand on his own, and see what being an adult is all about.  But I feel like a little piece of me leaves with both of them.  


Another went off today, for his first day of sophomore year in public school. Chamber choir, advanced drama, millionaire club, and debate club are just a few of the things that will keep him away from home 12 hours a day many times.  I miss him already.  But I'm happy to see him thriving and adjusted and involved and stretching himself to do great things.  


The rest will be home with me (well, kind of, because I won't necessarily be here), at least for half the year.  Home school will look different yet again.  They will have to work more independently, which means all new curriculum and strategies.   I'm in the process of being hired as a substitute para-educator for North Franklin school district where I'll be working at Basin City elementary and maybe Mesa elementary, three to four days a week.  We'll have to frequently evaluate how it's all working. It might be public school for everyone next year (but I can't think about that yet). I know there are many women who have juggled work and family, and I think they're amazing.  I just didn't want to be one of them. My goals haven't been very lofty.  I wanted a family...  lots of children, and the joy of being with them every day.  That's it.  No career to run back to when they started school.  No big ambitions.  If I had to sacrifice some material things and be financially creative, well that was ok.  


Things have changed. I've put this off as long as I can. It's necessary.  And I'm trying to tell myself it's all good.  This week I'm putting my house in order.  Making menu and chore binders to help the kids stay on task while I'm gone, and play a bigger part in helping the family run smoothly. That'll be good I think.  I've not delegated and relied on them as much as I could have.  I think having to step up will be good for them.  


I have also come to see very clearly that at mid-life, I am uneducated, unskilled, untrained, and unprepared to do much of anything that's worthy of a paycheck.  At least not a paycheck that's worth having.  The way I see it, if I have to give up what I love most (being home each day with my kids), then the job better 1. Be a good measure of fascinating and engaging  2. pay really well.  I'm pretty sure that's NOT the job I've snagged for myself.  So....


Back to school.  I was trying to choose between work and school (because I'm an all or nothing type of girl thinking only of full time college), when my almost son-in-law mentioned taking part time classes (DUH!).  So, in January I'll be taking a couple of classes per quarter at the local college (online, so I can work it around everything else).  I'm currently still torn between courses of study.  I see two basic options.  Study something that will get me done the quickest and make the most money.  Or, study something I find fascinating, but that takes twice the time, AND that I have no idea how I'll use to make money.  I'm torn between what I should do and what I want to do.  Enter the guilt.  ACK!  I'm leaning towards what I want to do (because as a mother for the last 21 years, what I want has so rarely been the focus).  But then I feel guilty. So I wonder. 


Then, as a woman who has barely kept it all together as a stay at home mom, I wonder...   HOW AM I GOING TO MAKE THIS ALL WORK?  You know that saying that goes something like this; I had it all together, but I forgot where I put it?  That's me baby!  So I'm a little afraid (ok, a lot).  I go to bed with lots of questions on my mind (which doesn't make for the most restful night).  Can I really be one of those women, who juggles work, school, weddings, ballet performances, school performances, music lessons, meals, grocery shopping, quality time with kids, driver's ed, and on...  and on...?  I guess I'll see!  And you will too.  Because  I best sort out my life by writing through it.  This year in blogging will be a record and study of something..   and I hope it's good!

Ballet and All That Jazz

Another year of dance is over.  Well kind of.  Except for the weeks of summer intensive. But we finished up with a recital yesterday and a Mid-Columbia Ballet company picnic today.  Great weather, great dancing, great friends and great fun!


First was the Contemporary dance, 21 Guns.  Four classes combined to do this and it was really cool.  You can see the whole thing here.  But here's Alyssa and friends getting started.  

Next was Jazz 2.  

Sort of like new gangsta meets old West Side Story.  It was cool.


Intermediate Jade Ballet was next.  Gotta love the classical ballet.  

I got a peak at Alyssa through the door before she came on stage.  

Lovely!  Alyssa's front row, all the way to the right.  






Natalie did an awesome job in Jazz 1!  Hey, Soul Sister...

Of course, part of the fun of recital is just being at the park with friends to celebrate the end of the year. 

Monica and her pet Alyssa.  

A real dancer can find a barre anywhere.  

Dancers don't seem to run out of energy quickly either.  Good thing.  They need lots of it.


The next day we had the Mid Columbia Ballet Company picnic, because Alyssa was in the Junior Company of MCB last year.  These kids have danced together for years, and have great friendships, but they don't always get many chances to cut loose together.  Ballet class is quiet, except for the music and the teacher.  So it was fun to see them all enjoy each other so much.  


They invented this "slide train"......

They got someone in the front, like Rob, who could hold everyone back.  Then they all started to get on, being careful not to slide away.  When they knew everyone was on....   down they'd go.

Then they'd all come shooting out like marbles down a chute.  Then they'd run right back around and repeat.  They had a blast!


And when Monday afternoon comes, and I realize I don't have to drive to the ballet studio...   I'll have a blast!  

Hair Design

What is it with girls and hair?  Cutting it I mean.  I don't remember any of my boys cutting their own hair.  But the girls.....  How many times I've found a pair of little scissors and some hair lying in a garbage can.  Or on the floor.  Or wherever it felt right to leave it and run.  I'm pretty sure all the girls cut their own hair at least twice each.  Well, not true.  Alyssa cut hers once, and her brother did it for her once.  You know, cause "she asked me to".  Brotherly love I guess.


Chloe has done it three times now I think.  This last time was about a week ago.  Natalie came to tell me I ought to go see what Chloe had done.  I hear that a lot.  So I was a little apprehensive, but I thought I would find her with a new layer of magic marker body art (is that what makes them so "magical"?).  Or maybe slathered with some of my favorite lotion.  But no. 

I walked in the other room to see a pair of little kids' scissors and the biggest pile of hair I've ever seen. From any daughter.  All I could think was that there was NO WAY this was going to blend in and be unnoticeable.  No way.  I was scared.  Really scared.


I had it cut a little while ago in to a really cute A-line cut with the cute stacked layers in back. 

 Simple and adorable and not easily tangled, which Chloe and I both liked.  There were no bangs.  The sort of style doesn't really require, or look good with bangs.  But bangs we have. For months and months to come.  She seems to have started on one side and cut up and over to the other.  Some people want a little off the top, and she apparently wanted a little of the front. And sides.   

Yesterday I took her in to see what could be done to blend the damage in.  

Not bad.  I didn't expect miracles.  Some places were cut right down to the hairline.  We'll survive.  She's promised to never ever cut her hair again.  We can only hope, right?

Guess where I am?

I haven't had a vacation in WAY too long.  You know, a real vacation.  Not staying in a hotel because you're traveling on business, or attending a seminar, or a wedding, or on your way to Grandma's house.... but a real vacation, where someplace sunny and tropical is involved, and maybe a private bungalow on a private island. Like this one. 

(with permission from anoldent, because I've never been there to take a photo myself..sigh)

But no.  I'm in Salmon, ID.  It's nearly 50F today.  But hey, the one inch of wet snow they predicted didn't happen yet.  Whoo hoo!  I'm not here on vacation really. Caitlin is going through a 4 day long workshop to become certified as a horse therapy instructor. 

I am having a big break from mommyville (except for the phone calls, texts, Facebook messages, etc...). I'm enjoying the peace, quiet, maid service, not cooking,  and not driving anywhere daily.  I'm getting a LOT of planning done (cause I'm a planner), and downtime..... big time.  


Salmon has about 3500 people.  It's far removed from any big town.  Because of the mountains we had to drive from Washington, to Idaho, to Montana, and into Idaho again to get here.

This is highway 93 in Montana. Beautiful.

Just minutes down the road we see this dusting of new snow up high.

This is like one mile later. At road level.   

About the time we crossed into Idaho and were headed down the pass..  with 20 mph hairpin turns..  this is what it looked like at road level.  Snowplows were plowing the snow and ice on the road and it was slick.  It's APRIL.


Salmon is the kind of town I'd have given anything to live in a few years ago. Part of me still wishes I lived on some ranch somewhere living a homesteader's life.  Now that I have children who are older and highly involved in their passions, which require lessons and almost daily commitments away from home, I wish I lived closer to town, not farther away. 

Quaint little town, isn't it?  The courthouse is right up that hill.

This is a shot of main street.  Lots of little restaurants and a few little shops.   It's a pretty town.  Great place for a vacation if you love outdoorsy activities like white water rafting, hunting, and packing trips.  




We're staying at the Stagecoach Inn.  It's packed.  Because it's the annual Salmon Select horse and mule sale.  There are cowboys and cowgirls everywhere.  Even little tiny ones.  We're really happy with the hotel.  Free breakfast and excellent service.  The room is big and comfortable.  Walking distance to downtown and the Salmon River.

This is the "backyard" of the hotel.  Lovely area to sit out at the right time of year.  A little cool and rainy this time.  

 I'm not sure what these trees or bushes are, but they look like flames.  They're all along the rivers here.  Love it!




So that's my travel log of Salmon, ID.  Tomorrow afternoon, it's back to Montana, then Idaho (again), then Washington.  We're praying there's no snow on the passes. Because they're predicting more.  It's APRIL for Pete's sake.  

You know you want to look...

Spring has sprung at our place.  New life is popping up everywhere.  And it's not in the garden I haven't planted yet.  


I thought of calling this post, "Your kids should see this."  But then I started to feel a little guilty.  (But only a little.)  Because I know how kids and baby animals go together like peanut butter and jelly!  (And we're not keeping all 8 puppies....  that's right, 8.)  And I knew if your kids had just a peek, they'd never let you rest until you realized what I already know. You know you want one! (Or at least they do.)


Just look....  (and by all means, invite your kids to look with you!)

Awwwww........    see?  

  


The cute factor on this one is just off the charts.  

Here's a little black one.  

She's so happy just to not be in labor anymore (I know how she feels).  She looks like she's smiling, doesn't she?  She's taken to motherhood like a pro.  Caitlin says she's naming them all after Shakespearean characters.  Feel free to rename them whatever you like when you come to pick yours up in about 6 weeks.  


Not a dog person?  That's okay. 

You can take home one of these.  Awwwwwww.......  we aim to please.  We offer one stop shopping.  These will be ready in about 4 weeks.  My kids are hoping that we'll change our minds and let them keep ALL the puppies and kittens.  Silly children.   So go ahead and call in your order today!  We're even offering a 2 for 1 special.  Get one for free...   and get an extra one for FREE!  Isn't that great?  

Bermuda Grass, You Ain't No Friend of Mine

I'm weeks behind our gardening schedule.  But with Spring break upon us, we're going to get 'er done!  I found Square Foot Gardening a few years ago and I love it!  Overall it's much easier, neater, simpler, and child friendly than typical row gardens.  It does cost some money to get going, but once started requires less upkeep and maintenance. Unless you have Bermuda grass.  

You can see it here, right up against my poor little wooden box.  The box doesn't stand a chance. Living in a rural area, with more weeds in general near us than where more pavement is the rule, weeding is always a big job.  Most weeds that make it into a square foot box are easily removed and fewer in number than in traditional rows in my experience.  Unless you have Bermuda grass.

This is a raised bed box of strawberry plants.  What?  You say you can't see the box?  Or the strawberries?  I KNOW!  Bermuda grass...  I curse you.  

I understand in some parts of the country Bermuda is the grass of choice because of it's drought and pest resistance and it grows heartily.  Oh, don't I know it!  It's also nearly impossible to kill off.  Well, over the decades, Bermuda grass has taken over a LOT of our 5 acres.  Including the area of lawn (and I use that term loosely) where we put our boxes.  Oh, we put the best quality weed fabric under the boxes (twice), but that's no match for Bermuda grass.  It grows by more than one mode, including deep tap rooting, rhizomes, as well as above ground propagation.  Well, isn't that nice?  


I set about finding a solution this year.  So gardening can indeed be simple and enjoyable.  One solution I found was to add a layer of old carpet to the weed fabric under the boxes as very little can stay alive or penetrate the carpet.  I certainly hope so, and so does Michael, who had the job of emptying all the boxes of dirt to do this!  

Jim, a very nice man from Franklin County Horticultural Pest and Disease Board, suggested hitting up the boxes now with a strong weed killer, including about 6 inches of grass surrounding the boxes.  Even this does not get rid of Bermuda grass quickly or easily.  But if you keep hitting it, you'll eventually win, or so I'm told.  If we treated all of our 5 acres for Bermuda grass, we'd have no lawn left!  (which someday will have to happen and be replanted, but not this year).  

Bermuda grass, you ain't no friend of mine.  I also am not a big fan of chemical means of maintenance.  Have you ever heard the phrase "the enemy of my enemy is my friend"?  Well, meet my new friend.  Generic brand weed control and I have just become allies in a war.  I'll have to be careful on future treatments near the boxes to make sure we don't get a couple of drops of weed killer on our vegetable plants.  Defeat is not an option.  


We have our supplies ready.  

Square foot gardening uses a special soil mix, rather than just dirt.  Peat moss helps maintain good soil quality and moisture. 

A nice mix of different composts is essential too.  But I've found, unlike what they tell you, my boxes still need some fertilizer added.   We do have our own compost pile, but neglected to water it enough to produce nicely broken down hummus, or mature compost.  But that'll get done this year also so next year it'll be ready to go.  


We also add vermiculite, which I don't have a picture of.  It's the little silvery things you sometimes see in potting soil mix, which holds on to moisture.  


Seeds on hand.  Somewhat willing children.  Hopefully beautiful weather.  Gardening has begun.  

What I've Been Up To

Wow, I haven't blogged in a while!  Things have been crazy busy...  aren't they for everyone?  So here's what I've been up to.  Prepare yourself..   it's a little boring.  But then no one ever accused me of having an audacious life!  Yet. (I can still hope!)


1.  Exercising.  Hate doing it, like how I feel afterwards.  This is the most consistent I've been in a long while, and it took over my early morning blogging time.


2.  Making bread.  After years of not doing it regularly...  I started again.  I love homemade bread (though with the exercise efforts, I shouldn't be eating much of it).  


3.  Trying to find a hotel room in Salmon, ID. (or something to do while I'm there).  Finding a hotel room.  Easy.  In Salmon, ID.  Well now, that's a whole other story.  


4.  Planning my garden.  Square foot gardening is wonderful!  Bermuda grass bites though.  It's my mission to conquer it once and for all this spring.  And I'm already behind.  Story of my life.


5.  Choosing a new cell phone.  This should also be easy.  But I get stuck deciding between what I want, what I need, and how much one plan will cost compared to another and researching coverage maps, and reading reviews of various phones, and....    well no one can beat an issue to death like I can.  (I envy people who just DECIDE.  Fast).  I've finally decided.  I think.


6.  Washing laundry.  


7.  Reading a great book.  "Eat, Pray, Love".  I don't love the couple of "choice" words in there...   but I bleeped them out and am really enjoying her self discovery through 3 countries.  It's a soul feeding book.


8.  Getting serious about stepping up to the plate, building my business, and finding myself in the process.  The self that I think was voted "most likely to succeed" in high school, then spent the next 25 years not having the self confidence to even start a conversation or the self esteem to think I mattered, isn't the real me.  Somewhere in there, I'm confident, fearless, and successful.  And I'm getting closer to her every day.  


9.  Of course, running kids everywhere.  It's hard to imagine that will ever end.  


10.  Staring blankly at a wall for the few minutes in the day that I do have a break...  because my brain is fried by then and I feel catatonic.