2014 is Here!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels time is actually moving faster! The years seem to finish so quickly anymore.  Being a highly introspective introvert, a new year always gives me a reason to ponder on...   well just about everything.  Especially on my progress and how my family is doing.  I'm a goal setter so I work on those, though I wish I could also say I'm as good at achieving goals as setting them. 

We've had some serious issues with children this past year that honestly are heartbreaking and sometimes make me feel that I am at the limits of what I can bear.  The hardest part of being a mom isn't nighttime feedings, a messy house, potty training, or even driving kids everywhere. It's not being able to fix what's hurting one of your babies, no matter how old they are.  

We have endured unemployment, financial stress, cars that have been in the shop more times than I care to count, illness, and disappointments in 2013. It was the same in 2012, and it'll be the same in 2014 because unfortunately that's all part of life.  

But we've also had blessings and tender mercies.  We became grandparents to a deliciously wonderful baby boy, watched some of our children shine on stage, watched others shine as they struggle and persist through hard days and don't give up, had kindnesses shown to us, received inspirations that guided us, made family memories while camping and swimming and watching movies together, ate together, and laughed together.  And I hope and expect to have more of these experiences also.  

For 2014 I have enough to do and face that I'm sure I'll feel I'm just hanging on by my fingertips.  Again. You can probably relate.  I won't share all my goals, but here are a few. I'm printing them off and posting them in my life book today. And several other places as well because I don't know about you, but if I don't see them daily... um, I forget I have goals.  At all. Which is why unfortunately many of these are carryovers from the past several years. 

1.  I'm going to read the Book of Mormon all the way through in the next 6 months, keeping a notebook where I write down the principles I find in each chapter. And then I'll do it again.

2.  I've lost a few pounds lately and I want to keep going.  I desperately want to take up running, but with my knee, that won't be possible unless I take a lot of weight off first.  Ironically backwards, isn't it?

3.  Finish my BA in anthropology by December 15th of 2014.  

4.  I want to make it a solid practice and habit to talk about my joys significantly more than my disappointments.  That includes Facebook posts and conversations in general.

5.  I will work harder to build up my children and create better relationships with them.

6.  I am determined to play the cello.  Never mind that I don't own one, can't afford lessons, and don't have the time for lessons or practice.  It's been on the top of my bucket list for years and I need to do it.  Positive intention set! Now if someone could just deliver me a cello...

I hope you feel that 2013 was a great year and that 2014 will be even more wonderful.  Blessings to you and your families as you journey your way through this life!

That Ghandi was a wise man

I've been thinking about a quote a read a while back.  

This is true.  But we all do it, don't we?  We all believe things, and yet we don't live them.  We believe in being kind, yet sometimes we aren't.  We believe in being forgiving, but sometimes it's easier said than done.  And we all say we want to be better, but then we don't always make the commitment and do the work it takes to actually be better.  Of course no one is perfect.  But the number of things I believe, and yet don't do is....  uncomfortable.  

I'm generally a fairly private person when it comes to personal struggles and issues. My own family rarely knows what goals I'm working on.  I know plenty of my shortcomings are obvious, and I guess I don't want to be brutally honest about all of them.  It's not out of pride...  (okay, maybe it is)...  it's just that if I blab about a certain area I'm trying to improve, and I fail, then everyone will know about it instead of just me.  Which just deepens the disappointment (or the humiliation)... and the fear of failure, for someone that already has a healthy dose.  Please tell me someone out there can relate to that.  

But I've been thinking for some time of being brave enough to use this blog to hold myself more accountable by letting everyone in on some part of life I struggle with.  I would hope that it would help me stick to my efforts better (and make fewer excuses) so as to not suffer the above mentioned humiliation.  And yeah, I know you have so much going on in your own life that you probably don't care whether or not I reach my goals. But as long as it's out there I think I'll work harder (I hope).  

The beginning of a new year is as good a time as any, right?  Honestly, not a New Year's resolution maker.  Resolutions are just wishes.  Goals are plans of action.  I'd rather set goals.  That means deciding what you want, and outlining the steps needed to get there. I've learned to be a great goal setter.  But I let the many little fires of everyday life take my focus away from what I decided was truly important to me, and then I make excuses, and then forget, and then I fail.  Believing in something and not living it....  

So on New Year's day I'll take a deep breath, lay out my biggest challenge, and get started.  And if it bores you to tears to follow along, it's perfectly okay.  If you don't tell, I'll never know.  I hope it'll still give me the kick in the behind I need. 

By Small and Simple Things......

Do you see this little tree?  It's growing from under my front door.  Well, until later today when I rip it out before it brings my house down.    It started from a little seed as most plants do, and has grown into a little shoot.   

Here is a picture of it's older brother (or sister I suppose), that's growing in my front yard.  Still small, but growing towards its full potential.

This very tallest tree is  an impressive specimen of the same kind, grown up with nourishment, light,  and water.  It's quite tall now, and spreading its seeds. Literally.  EVERYWHERE.

And this is a swath of trees that show the scope in which they have grown, all from little seeds and shoots like the first little guy I showed you.   I hate these trees.  They're called Tree of Heaven, a SLIGHT misnomer.  Imported at one time from Asia and foolishly planted by someone before us on our property, they are exhaustingly invasive.  We have been battling them half-heartedly for years, and are on a search and destroy mission this fall.  


You're probably wondering what on earth my point is, except to complain about these stupid trees in my yard, or make you feel sorry for me (which hopefully you do).  My point is that it reminded me of a very true and important principle that I often lose sight of.   By  small and simple things, great things will come to pass.  These trees are the best physical example of that I could find.   The more important examples though, are those of a more spiritual or personal kind.  When people band together with small efforts, great things can happen.  When we exercise just a few minutes a day, worthwhile changes take place.  Reading something positive and enlightening for just a short time each day can greatly add to our depth and breadth of knowledge.  


I, who always want instant results to be sure something is successful, need to remember that taking one baby step at a time is often all that's required to reach our goals.   I want to be THERE.  Instantly.  Mission accomplished.   Well, sometimes success needs to marinate and develop slowly.   Developing skills and capabilities and  letting go of bad habits and hurtful baggage can take a while.  Sometimes, we deny our own genius and shy away from the great things we could do, because we let fear take hold or we listen to critical voices (even our own).  By small and simple things, great things CAN come to pass.  I'm going to move forward, one small step and effort at a time, and trust that my reward will be  something great.  

Reach for the Stars

Raise your hand if once upon a time you wanted to be a princess...   or maybe an astronaut (I wanted to be Samantha on Bewitched and make magic by wiggling my nose... I have control issues.).  Maybe you'd be a movie star, or hunt lions on an African safari.   Nothing was out of reach!   As we got older though,  we got the message that dreams and goals needed to be within limits and be realistic.  Problem is, sometimes by the time we're adults, we've forgotten how to dream at all.  Do you  really believe everything is possible anymore?  True, I've likely lost my chance to be in the Ice Capades (silly dream for a girl who was too scared to strap on ice skates I know)  but there are still dreams worth pursuing!

You've heard of a bucket list, right?  It's a list of all the things you want to do before you "kick the bucket".  It's a great way of remembering who we really are under the mounds of dirty laundry and sticky floors and endless to-do lists.  Jack Canfield, in his amazing book, The Success Principles (everyone from 10-100 should read it), suggests making a list of 30 things you want to do, 30 things you want to have, and 30 things you want to be.

Be  realistic enough to know you'll never be in the NBA now, but otherwise to  dream BIG.  Don't worry about when or how you'd do these things, just write.  If you keep asking yourself what you really want, you'll be surprised at some of the answers!

At first I found it really hard!  As a mother, I find I'm often busy focusing on what my kids want to be when they grown up, rather than on anything I might still want to do.  I admit I still haven't finished and I kind of put my list aside.  Just putting those dreams on paper, gives a little nudge to your subconscious mind and you'll be amazed at how you begin to see the opportunities to make some of those dreams come true!

Here are some of the things on my list.  Some are just too embarrassing to share because I'm a dork, but maybe this will inspire you to write your own list.  Have your kids begin one, and teach them to reach for the stars.  "When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either."  Leo Burnett

1.  tour Europe
2.  learn to play the cello
3.  provide an entire Christmas for a family in need
4.  buy a family cabin
5.  overcome my fear of rejection
6.  find joy in every moment
7.  develop unfailing confidence
8.  re-landscape my 3 acre "yard"
9.  achieve financial success with my business
10. get season tickets to Pacific Northwest Ballet


So......   what's on YOUR bucket list!  Click on "comment" and share a couple...  you just might inspire someone (including yourself).