Musings on Meditation

Let's meditate on meditation for a bit.  Meditating is that thing Indian gurus do, half naked with their legs twisted into a pretzel, right?  Well, probably.  But I do it too.  Except not half naked.  And definitely not with my legs twisted in a pretzel.  I've read here and there over the years about the benefits of different types of meditation.  A few years ago, I bought a beginner yoga DVD, and there are some brief meditative poses at the beginning.  I liked it.  But I didn't do it much or consistently. 


Then last year I read the book Eat, Pray, Love.  Didn't really love her writing style.  There were a few unfortunate (and in my opinion unnecessary) words and phrases.  Just a couple.  So with that warning, you might want to read it.  Or not.  Anyways...   it's a true story of a woman whose life is in total chaos, and who finds peace through prayer and meditation.  Well, who couldn't use more peace? I know I could!  Sadly, I can't spend a year traveling Italy, India, and Bali as she did. ( I mean, REALLY sadly...   cause I'd go.)  


I have my personal, firm, stuck in stone religious beliefs.  I believe what I have is whole, complete and right.  I don't however believe I have the corner on truth.  It's out there in many places.  Even if incomplete.  And I think it's pretty cool to discover that many of the fundamental roots of what I believe, are believed by others of various faiths.  I think maybe we're more familiar with the idea of "pondering" or "contemplating" than we are "meditating" (maybe it's that Indian guru thing).  


Here's the thing.  I pray daily.  Can't function well without it.  Here's the other thing.  The voice is still and small.  And not surprisingly, I don't often hear that answer to my prayer when I immediately jump up and run into my day.  Still and small in my opinion, means I may need to be still and listen in order to hear it.  That's where meditation comes in.  I don't know about you, but my mind is never still and I suspect most people, especially women, can say the same.  Pay attention and try it some time.  It's noisy in there, isn't it?


Now, I figure I have plenty of times during the day when I'm so tired or overwhelmed that surely it's empty up there.  I couldn't make an intelligent thought if I needed to, right?  Well, it may not be intelligent, but there's stuff running through there constantly.  


I've started taking some extra time each morning, right after my prayers, to meditate.  For me, that means just sitting on my bed in comfortable, non-pretzel like pose.  I start with some sun breaths to relax and focus a little.  After about 5 of those I feel relaxed.  Then I end with my hands in the Namaste gesture.

Now it gets tricky.  Try to just breathe in and out through the nose, and empty and quiet your mind.  Man, it's amazing the little things that keep popping in there....   What am I making for dinner?  Oh, I'm supposed to not think. Those are interesting sounding birds outside.  Shoot, I'm not supposed to think...................................  that dumb dog is barking again.  Ack!  And so it goes.  But it's getting easier.  It takes me an incredible effort to be STILL and not have my mind running.  I started with 5 minutes and now I'm up to 8.  A few little interruptions, yet, but overall, not bad.  After 8 minutes I feel squirmy and lose focus altogether.  


(here's a little trick...   try picturing those pesky thoughts as dry little leaves that blow away from you with each exhale.  That's also why the chanting of "ohhmmmm" . Another way to clear the mind)


Honestly it's usually the only time all I day I actually HEAR those birds. And they're lovely. You can also visualize positive things for you and loved ones.  Visualize God's love being poured out on you, so that you can pour it on others.  You really can't feel too grumpy when you're done.  Even if it's only 8 minutes.  It helps calm me and center my focus for the day  (not that I never lose it).  It's a little bit of peace and serenity in a chaotic day.  And I like it.  

Giving of Our Abundance

This is highly personal, and a little hard to talk about and admit.  But I wanted to share something I learned recently because it was so enlightening to me.  Life changing maybe.  For all of you that already know this, be patient with me, I'm a slow learner.  


This past year has been the hardest financial year of our 23 years of married life.  Unemployment, multiple and devastatingly expensive repairs and replacements, combined with  current economic realities, and the stage of life we're in....  you know, seven children, 5 of whom are teens or older and all that entails with expenses of car insurance, food, activities, lessons, food, shoes, gas money...... did I mention food?  They eat muchly.  We've had to be humbled to accept more financial assistance and help from friends and church than we ever wanted to.   We've been so incredibly grateful for all of that help, each and every day.  But accepting help is hard.  I don't want to be "that family" that always needs something. 


*I* want to be the one who can help others.  I want to have financial abundance so I can be the one to bless others' lives.  I want to be the one that can help someone in need.  It's frustrated me to tears at times, that I find things so reversed from how I would like them to be.  I have certainly developed a great compassion for anyone who is struggling financially and how scary that is.   Many things about my life in recent years have taught me the importance of truly being non-judgmental.  No one knows what it's like to walk in another person's shoes.  


Anyways, I was just feeling so rotten the other day because I'm tired of taking, when I'd rather be giving.  I don't have any financial means to give (though I intend to change that soon).  I can't buy anyone anything.  I can't contribute to any humanitarian causes.  I can't donate any food.   I can't buy fabric to make quilts or blankets to donate.  All I could think of was all these things I couldn't do and I felt very helpless.  


Now, I can't even remember where this inspiration came from.  I know I either heard or read something brief, and the light bulb clicked on.   Abundance comes in many forms, only one of which is monetary.   You can have an abundance of cheer, hope, smiles, hugs, wisdom, grace, love, concern, as well as talents or skills that can be put to use on behalf of others.   I hadn't thought of those things in terms of abundance before.  I should have because that's what the Savior taught.  That giving of those things is also giving of my abundance and helping others.  At first I felt a huge relief as the truth of this sank in and gave me new perspective.  


Then it hit me.  The only problem with this is that you have to  1.  acknowledge your gifts and talents and 2. cultivate characteristics that are positive and of good worth to bless others.   You know how sometimes you take quizzes or read books where they ask you to list all your good traits, or talents?  Well, I HATE those.  My answer to "list your top 10 best skills (talents, traits)" is always...   "UUUHHHHHH...."  Seriously.  I don't see anything noteworthy.  (Or I can think of someone that can do it better).  But ask me to list my top 10 worst traits...  watch out and get me a LONG piece of paper.  Cause I can go way past 10! If I really want to give,  really want to make a difference,  I will need to acknowledge something I have that's worth sharing.  


Secondly, it makes you take an inventory of what your characteristics are.  My lifelong shyness and self-consciousness has often left me feeling socially awkward, missing chances to  say the right things at the right time, and looking unfriendly or snobby. You know those people that you just love to be around?  The ones that brighten a room and make people feel better for having been in their presence?  Well, that's not me I'm sorry to say (and some of you already know that).  But it could be.  If I decided to cultivate those traits.   And if I really want to give of my abundance, I will have to make a serious effort to do that.  


It's given me a good bit of soul searching, that's for sure.  The easiest thing for me to see is the areas I need to become better.  Seeing the gifts I already have is harder.  But maybe it won't seem self serving or selfish if I do it so I can give them away.   So my personal challenge  for this week is to get outside of myself and see the people who are in need in some way, and then decide what I have to offer that will lighten their burden.  

Favorite Websites

I thought I'd post some of my most favorite websites.  Some are blogs, some have products for sale, some are just great information or resources.  But I LOVE them and wanted to tell you.


Thrift Books is awesome.  I have a passion for books (and unfortunately not enough bookshelves... ), but I also don't like parting with my money.   Buying used books has been great for our family.  We save so much money and often times you can't tell the used from new.  There are plenty of used book sites out there like Amazon.  But they all charge shipping.  Up to $4 per book.  Thrift Books charges no shipping and in most cases is significantly cheaper than other sites.  They may not have what I need, but it's always where I go first.  


Every Day Minerals is one of my newest favorites.  I like makeup. It covers my blotchy, rosacea tainted skin.  And I love pretty colors!  But most makeup doesn't cover my flaws very well, or irritates my skin.  About a year ago I started using mineral powder foundation.  LOVE IT!  However, the store brands have so many fillers that I often found my skin itchy.  Some other high end brands are..  well...   pricey.  Every Day Minerals is awesome.  So many choices for any skin undertone.  I found it very effective, non-irritating, and magically covering.  Her eye shadows have real lasting power and a rainbow of colors.  And her prices?   Wonderfully affordable.  You even get a discount of 20% if you purchase 5 full sized products, which I just did.  Don't know which color foundation to choose?  She offers free sample kits of 5 shades to try.  You only pay $3 shipping.  




The Lettered Cottage.  My home is horribly "un-designed".  It's what you'd call...  umm....   we're too poor and busy raising 7 kids to have a definite style.  Or time to decorate.  Or money to do it.  Or the creativity to make it happen...  well you get the idea.  I know what I like when I see it.  I want my home to feel peaceful, simple, clean, inviting and not overly formal.  THIS is how I want my house to be.  They have stunning before and after photos that give me hope!  And while I haven't gotten to all the site content yet, they claim they do this all on little or no budget.  Amen.  Someday, my house will echo their work.  Sigh.  Just click on before and after on the menu bar.


The Pioneer Woman.  Ree Drummond is my hero.  She writes better than me, cooks better than me, does photography better than me, and probably home schools her kids better than me.  She's witty, talented, gracious, generous, and frankly honest.  Her frequent give aways are fun.  I subscribe and get her daily digest in my email in box.  When I grow up I want to be Ree Drummond.  If you want information on life, children, homeschooling, cooking, design, or a host of other topics, her blogs/website is the place to go.



All Recipes.  I'm a cookbook freak.  I collect cookbooks like some people collect coins, or shoes.  Yet for all the cookbooks I have, there are days I can't find what I need.  Or, more to the point, can't remember which cookbook that recipe is in.  It's hard getting old.  But, All Recipes is a very searchable site with lots of variations to make anyone happy.  Recipes can be scaled smaller or bigger, and you can even print off the recipes index card sized and ready to file.  Or, you can register for free and file your recipes in your virtual box.  Some days, it's a lifesaver (or dinner saver).  


Teach With Movies.  A friend sent me this link.  I don't know about you, but along with entertainment, sometimes I want my kids to actually learn something from the movies we watch...  without showing those boring documentaries we saw in school.  You know, the ones that for decades seemed to always be narrated by the SAME man.  (how is that even possible?).  Anyways, you can search for movies by topic.  And for a  very low yearly rate you can subscribe which opens resources like lesson plans and learning guides for over 300 movies!  It's genius.  


I hesitate to mention the next one.  For a few reasons.  One, it's kind of blatant self promotion (not that a blog isn't I guess, right?).  Second, it's not like that many people read my blog that it would really benefit me in any way. Third, my mentioning this tends to scare people away as if I will hunt you down and trap you like some stereo-typed version of a used care salesman.  Which puzzles me really.  Anyone who knows me knows I'm not like that.  A lot of people I know don't even know this about me (like I'm a secret agent or something), but I have a telecom and energy services business.  Few people know, because I clearly have a lot to learn about being in business!  I assure you it's legit.  Above board.  A lot of fun actually.  And my saving grace to not have to go back to work full time (because although I don't begrudge that choice to anyone...  it's not one I want to make).  


I simply broker services through arrangements with companies like Verizon, AT&T, Sprint, Dishnet, ADT security and other highly well known and reputable companies.  It won't cost you a penny more than you already pay for stuff you already use.  It makes my desire to stay home with my children a reality.  Check out what I have.  If you or someone you know is looking to switch or just renew services, PLEASE ask me first or send them my way.  I will love you forever and ever.  You may even find me at your door with a plate of warm and gooey chocolate chip cookies as a thank you!  Think about that.  Verizon never did that for you, huh?


Well, these are just a few of my favorite sites and I hope you find something useful on them.  Don't hesitate to shout out one of your favorites.  It might become one of mine!

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving morning, about 7am.  Woke up with a smashing headache, and thought I'd blog a little while everyone sleeps, and before turkey prep begins.  I wanted to list a few more things that I'm thankful for, although I could never, EVER list them all.  


1.  Purple.....   how can you look at purple and not feel a little happier?


2.  Snow (not snowy roads), because it makes my kids SO happy


3.  The kindness of people...   we've had a rough year and been on the receiving end of help and support more than I'd like (because I love giving, not receiving).  But so awesome, and so thankful to have had it.


4.  Cheesecake.  In high school, my best friend brought an entire cheesecake and can of blueberry filling to school....   and 4 of us shared and ate THE WHOLE THING.  And yet, I still love cheesecake.  


5.  Making re-connections with friends and family on Facebook


6. All the things I've learned this year about myself;  my abilities, the power of having vision and thinking positively, and experiencing the truth that action conquers fear.


7.  Newly waxed hardwood floors.  Oooohhhh......  shiny!


8.  Christmas music.  I'd listen to it all year if I could, because it's message of hope, salvation, and joy is one I need all year long.


9.  Technology.  It can be a pain at times...  because I don't always know how to use it or how to fix it.  But having my mom and Chloe get to see each other from across the miles when Chloe blew out her birthday candles.....   priceless!


10.  Lipstick....   I love lipstick.  I usually forget to wear it.  But I love the perfect shade of lipstick and how it helps me feel a little more polished and together.  


Now, it took for forever to find this.  I've seen it ascribed to President Lincoln as his Thanksgiving Day address.  But it's not.  It was a few months later when he proclaimed a National day of fasting and prayer.  It's still a marvelous speech on gratitude and God ,  and worth reading and pondering this Thanksgiving.  Enjoy your day and your many blessings!

More to be Thankful For

More of my continuing list of things to be especially thankful for....


1.  the absence of flies....  which hasn't actually happened yet, but I'm sure looking forward to it...  (my country sisters share my pain I'm sure).


2.  warm, fuzzy socks on a cold autumn night


3.  God's tender mercies that we receive every single day


4.  homemade spicy Asian peanut sauce.....  YUM!


5.  the sound of the wind through the trees on a warm spring day


6.  waterfalls...    I find them breathtaking no matter the size or scale and someday I'm going to have one in my house (I'm not kidding).  


7.  digital cameras, so when my younger children take 27 photos of each other's feet and nostrils, I can simply hit delete instead of having to pay to develop the whole role for the one precious picture on it...   like with my older children  (you all still owe me).


8.  breastfeeding my babies... I've spent a total of 15 years of my life lactating to date (no, that is not a typo) and for me it has been one of the greatest privileges and blessings of motherhood.


9  musicals...   because I like idea of people just bursting into song at random moments.  I think musicals should be taken off stage and into real life...  wouldn't that be something?


10.  homemade soap...  love love LOVE it... love making it, smelling it, using it.   The 130 bars I had in my basement are almost gone and I think I'm gonna have to make some more soon. (yeah!)

Thankfulness

I believe abundance and prosperity begins with gratitude for all we  have and a true and deep appreciation for  the little things.  I also know I get busy and take for granted what many of these things are.  Shame on me!  I was at a wonderful leadership training event last night where a mentor of mine talked about the "language of increase".  If we want prosperity and abundance then we must talk about the blessings, good news, and success in EVERY situation.  This past year has been like a hard, bumpy roll downhill.  We have experienced a lot of discouraging and frustrating circumstances.  I'm sorry to  admit I've struggled to see anything to be grateful for in some of the things that have happened.  My children are watching, and I need to do better.  


 I'm going to make some random "gratitude lists" this month of the little things that need my focus and appreciation.   I'm hoping a little public acknowledgement of my former ingratitude will help set me straight!  


1.  I'm thankful for music!  I LOVE a huge variety of  music (well ...   not rap, and not screaming death rock).  Music can turn your whole mood around in just minutes.  


2.  I'm thankful for the variety of four seasons.  Each one has beauty and something to look forward to.


3.  I'm thankful for dark chocolate.  I mean really...   right?   The darker the better too.  72% cocoa?  Perfect!


4.  Water.  Trust me, it's AWESOME!


5.  I'm thankful for three year olds.  Every day is discovery and mastery and the most amazing things come out of their mouths.  


6.  Books (and highlighters.....  don't forget the highlighters).   Give me a book and I'm a happy camper!  (as long as I've got a highlighter)


7.  My bed.  We recently watched the movie The Blind Side (EXCELLENT true story).  The main character is in high school and tells his foster mother he's never had his own bed before.  Wow.  And I complain because my comforter is old.  


8.  I'm thankful for mentors.  I'm grateful to have amazing mentors in my life who have willingly taught me all they know, believed in me more than I believe in myself, and always cheer me on.  


9.  I'm thankful for geography.  We have a varied and beautiful earth.  We're having LOTS of fun this year studying states and countries.  If I could, I'd live in each of the 50 states, just to see what they're like (I know, I'm a dork).  


10.  Corelle ware.  I have seven children.  Enough said.  

By Small and Simple Things......

Do you see this little tree?  It's growing from under my front door.  Well, until later today when I rip it out before it brings my house down.    It started from a little seed as most plants do, and has grown into a little shoot.   

Here is a picture of it's older brother (or sister I suppose), that's growing in my front yard.  Still small, but growing towards its full potential.

This very tallest tree is  an impressive specimen of the same kind, grown up with nourishment, light,  and water.  It's quite tall now, and spreading its seeds. Literally.  EVERYWHERE.

And this is a swath of trees that show the scope in which they have grown, all from little seeds and shoots like the first little guy I showed you.   I hate these trees.  They're called Tree of Heaven, a SLIGHT misnomer.  Imported at one time from Asia and foolishly planted by someone before us on our property, they are exhaustingly invasive.  We have been battling them half-heartedly for years, and are on a search and destroy mission this fall.  


You're probably wondering what on earth my point is, except to complain about these stupid trees in my yard, or make you feel sorry for me (which hopefully you do).  My point is that it reminded me of a very true and important principle that I often lose sight of.   By  small and simple things, great things will come to pass.  These trees are the best physical example of that I could find.   The more important examples though, are those of a more spiritual or personal kind.  When people band together with small efforts, great things can happen.  When we exercise just a few minutes a day, worthwhile changes take place.  Reading something positive and enlightening for just a short time each day can greatly add to our depth and breadth of knowledge.  


I, who always want instant results to be sure something is successful, need to remember that taking one baby step at a time is often all that's required to reach our goals.   I want to be THERE.  Instantly.  Mission accomplished.   Well, sometimes success needs to marinate and develop slowly.   Developing skills and capabilities and  letting go of bad habits and hurtful baggage can take a while.  Sometimes, we deny our own genius and shy away from the great things we could do, because we let fear take hold or we listen to critical voices (even our own).  By small and simple things, great things CAN come to pass.  I'm going to move forward, one small step and effort at a time, and trust that my reward will be  something great.  

Reach for the Stars

Raise your hand if once upon a time you wanted to be a princess...   or maybe an astronaut (I wanted to be Samantha on Bewitched and make magic by wiggling my nose... I have control issues.).  Maybe you'd be a movie star, or hunt lions on an African safari.   Nothing was out of reach!   As we got older though,  we got the message that dreams and goals needed to be within limits and be realistic.  Problem is, sometimes by the time we're adults, we've forgotten how to dream at all.  Do you  really believe everything is possible anymore?  True, I've likely lost my chance to be in the Ice Capades (silly dream for a girl who was too scared to strap on ice skates I know)  but there are still dreams worth pursuing!

You've heard of a bucket list, right?  It's a list of all the things you want to do before you "kick the bucket".  It's a great way of remembering who we really are under the mounds of dirty laundry and sticky floors and endless to-do lists.  Jack Canfield, in his amazing book, The Success Principles (everyone from 10-100 should read it), suggests making a list of 30 things you want to do, 30 things you want to have, and 30 things you want to be.

Be  realistic enough to know you'll never be in the NBA now, but otherwise to  dream BIG.  Don't worry about when or how you'd do these things, just write.  If you keep asking yourself what you really want, you'll be surprised at some of the answers!

At first I found it really hard!  As a mother, I find I'm often busy focusing on what my kids want to be when they grown up, rather than on anything I might still want to do.  I admit I still haven't finished and I kind of put my list aside.  Just putting those dreams on paper, gives a little nudge to your subconscious mind and you'll be amazed at how you begin to see the opportunities to make some of those dreams come true!

Here are some of the things on my list.  Some are just too embarrassing to share because I'm a dork, but maybe this will inspire you to write your own list.  Have your kids begin one, and teach them to reach for the stars.  "When you reach for the stars, you may not quite get one, but you won't come up with a handful of mud either."  Leo Burnett

1.  tour Europe
2.  learn to play the cello
3.  provide an entire Christmas for a family in need
4.  buy a family cabin
5.  overcome my fear of rejection
6.  find joy in every moment
7.  develop unfailing confidence
8.  re-landscape my 3 acre "yard"
9.  achieve financial success with my business
10. get season tickets to Pacific Northwest Ballet


So......   what's on YOUR bucket list!  Click on "comment" and share a couple...  you just might inspire someone (including yourself).