2014 is Here!

Please tell me I'm not the only one who feels time is actually moving faster! The years seem to finish so quickly anymore.  Being a highly introspective introvert, a new year always gives me a reason to ponder on...   well just about everything.  Especially on my progress and how my family is doing.  I'm a goal setter so I work on those, though I wish I could also say I'm as good at achieving goals as setting them. 

We've had some serious issues with children this past year that honestly are heartbreaking and sometimes make me feel that I am at the limits of what I can bear.  The hardest part of being a mom isn't nighttime feedings, a messy house, potty training, or even driving kids everywhere. It's not being able to fix what's hurting one of your babies, no matter how old they are.  

We have endured unemployment, financial stress, cars that have been in the shop more times than I care to count, illness, and disappointments in 2013. It was the same in 2012, and it'll be the same in 2014 because unfortunately that's all part of life.  

But we've also had blessings and tender mercies.  We became grandparents to a deliciously wonderful baby boy, watched some of our children shine on stage, watched others shine as they struggle and persist through hard days and don't give up, had kindnesses shown to us, received inspirations that guided us, made family memories while camping and swimming and watching movies together, ate together, and laughed together.  And I hope and expect to have more of these experiences also.  

For 2014 I have enough to do and face that I'm sure I'll feel I'm just hanging on by my fingertips.  Again. You can probably relate.  I won't share all my goals, but here are a few. I'm printing them off and posting them in my life book today. And several other places as well because I don't know about you, but if I don't see them daily... um, I forget I have goals.  At all. Which is why unfortunately many of these are carryovers from the past several years. 

1.  I'm going to read the Book of Mormon all the way through in the next 6 months, keeping a notebook where I write down the principles I find in each chapter. And then I'll do it again.

2.  I've lost a few pounds lately and I want to keep going.  I desperately want to take up running, but with my knee, that won't be possible unless I take a lot of weight off first.  Ironically backwards, isn't it?

3.  Finish my BA in anthropology by December 15th of 2014.  

4.  I want to make it a solid practice and habit to talk about my joys significantly more than my disappointments.  That includes Facebook posts and conversations in general.

5.  I will work harder to build up my children and create better relationships with them.

6.  I am determined to play the cello.  Never mind that I don't own one, can't afford lessons, and don't have the time for lessons or practice.  It's been on the top of my bucket list for years and I need to do it.  Positive intention set! Now if someone could just deliver me a cello...

I hope you feel that 2013 was a great year and that 2014 will be even more wonderful.  Blessings to you and your families as you journey your way through this life!

Camping, Part 2

Sorry part 2 is trailing so far behind part 1.  That's because my personal photographer and photo editor was exceedingly busy with a 3 week summer intensive ballet program and only recently got the photos finished.  She takes amazing pictures and edits really well, and yet I was still a bit disappointed when I saw them.  

I think it's because although the beauty of the things we saw is evident, you cannot experience the scope of it all in the photos.  You cannot feel the soft, cooling breeze and the spray of the waterfalls.  You cannot hear thunder of glacial water rushing over the boulders.  You cannot know what it feels like to stand somewhere so majestic and so grand that in comparison you feel your life and your problems and your worries are so insignificant.  Hopefully you have been somewhere like this at least once.  If you have, maybe you can feel these pictures.

HIKE #1

For our first hike we went up to Sunrise.  The elevation there is about 6700 ft. It's the highest spot you can drive to in Mt. Rainier National Park.  We went on an easy hike, nearly all level, and had the view of the summit almost the entire time.  We were also there for the only couple of hours all day that the summit was not obscured by clouds!

Thank goodness for big brothers when your little feet tire out.

The meadows were bursting with wildflowers.  It was so beautiful I told my kids I wanted to build a house, right there on the top of that little ridge because I was going to live there forever!  I get a little carried away when I'm in such places.

I'm seriously agonizing over which of these photographs to enlarge and hang in my house.  

Do you see that green speck at the bottom of the valley?  It's this amazing lake we saw from the trail at Sunrise, not far from the White River.  And we kept wondering where on earth that was and if there was anyway to get hike to it.  But we couldn't find anything about it. 


HIKE #2

The trail head for our next hike was just a few spaces away from our own campsite.  We were headed up to an overlook to see the snout of the Emmons glacier, and the beginning of the White River which flows from it.  This was billed as an easy hike.  Perhaps this was optimistically labeled easy by some professional mountaineer.  While it was "easy" to walk, no climbing gear and roped needed, it was 1.5 miles of straight uphill. When a walking trail needs switchbacks...  easy if you're not old and out of shape.  But SO worth the effort!

The information about the trail neglected to mention the MANY waterfalls right along the path.  At least 6 or 7 that I remember.  And each one got bigger than the last.  

This one went up much higher than we could photograph...without falling off the trail where it continued

under our path, crashing to the valley below.  Awesomeness.  

Zach just had to try going across this.  Which he did successfully.  But Alyssa almost cried before he was done because she was sure he was going to fall to his death.  

After crossing over the White River in a lovely spot, the trail continued.

Or what's left of the trail.  There was a warning that the train was eroding and to be careful.  The "trail" was about an 18" width of soft dirt with a drop off on the left.  It was worse coming down.  So glad we continued because at one point, Zach strayed just off the trail and called for us to come look.  

It was the lake!  The same one we had seen from Sunrise!  We couldn't find any safe path down to it, but WOW!  What a wonderful surprise to discover. No amount of editing does justice to the brilliant blue-green color of the water. They could have left me there and I would have died happy.  

We went a little farther and could see the valley below, the evidence of the 2006 flood, the White River, and to the far left of the photo...the "snow field" you see is really the end of the Emmons Glacier.  

We all had pictures taken here.  The scenery was so stunning, and the scope so huge, that I felt like we were posing in front of some fake backdrop. It was almost surreal.  And, again with this hike, the two hours we were exploring was just about the only time all day that the sun was out and the mountain not totally hidden behind clouds.  The poor people headed up while we were headed down missed this.  How blessed were we?  

So where to next year?  Back to Mt. Rainier and trails we haven't taken yet? Olympic National Park looks amazing as well, and we've never been there.  So much beauty, so little time to see it all!

Camping Part I

After two years of not camping, I was so ready to go! 

This wasn't even all our gear.  I think the neighbors thought we were moving.

I can't explain it exactly, but something in me NEEDS to be in the mountains, surrounded by beauty, at least once a year.  This was only our second camping trip in about 5 years.  It was a little disappointing that we couldn't all go since two of the boys needed to be home for jobs etc, but we went anyways.  Since we haven't been to Mt. Rainier since before Chloe was born, that's where we needed to go.  I ♥ Mt. Rainier. 

The day before we were leaving, Ken found out that he lost his job. As of immediately.  Well, pretty much every employee of that company in the state of WA was "eliminated".  Wow. Hey good news, that vacation time is approved!  Thank goodness we were able to get away and commune with nature a bit and put things into a better perspective, and most of the time simply not think about it at all.  

We had a few other minor things like injuries, our car battery dying the night before we were heading home, and one ridiculously cold day 

(high of 58 and steeped in fog) but...  we survived.  Sort of.  We sat around in our jeans and sweatshirts desperately trying to stay warm while most of the other campers walked around in their mountaineer leggings, wool socks, hats, and extreme weather vests as if it were as comfortable out as a June afternoon.  Overall the good parts outweighed the bad (except for that stupid job thing).  

We stayed at the White River campground for the first time (because we were too late to make reservations elsewhere).  In the past we've stayed at Ohanapecosh (LOVE) and Cougar Rock (meh). We ended up loving White River and the Sunrise area.  SO AWESOMELY BEAUTIFUL.  Ohanapecosh gives you hikes with forests and waterfalls.  Paradise gives you mountain views.  White River gives you both.  

One thing we love about Mt. Rainier in general is the Campfire programs held nightly Th-Su where the rangers speak about different topics related to Mt. Rainier.  Family friendly, educational, and fun.  We learned some fascinating things about Black bears for sure!  They have a Junior Ranger program where kids of all ages can earn patches, badges, and a lot of great wilderness information.  They meet for an hour most mornings and Natalie and Chloe LOVED it as my other kids did when they were younger. (Hmmm...maybe I need to imitate this for homeschool).

We also visited the Sunrise area, about 10 miles past and 2000 ft higher than our campground.  Stunning, and not so crowded as Paradise.  We went on two hikes during our trip. Words cannot describe what our eyes saw, so Part Two will have a few words, and lots of photos. 

Marathon time! NOT.

So I've finally gotten started on a regular exercise plan. Again.  One of my children (who says she never gets enough time alone with me), also needs the exercise.  So we started walking together each morning.  Nothing huge.  We started walking a 2.5 mi loop. I could walk a bit faster if I walked alone.  She's less than thrilled with the idea of working hard as opposed to strolling, so I have to stop every so often for her to catch up.  I end the walk by picking up the pace to a jog (most people walk faster than I "run") as we cut through the cemetery near our house.  I chose the cemetery mostly to protect the eyes of the motorists out there so as not to cause any accidents due to the spectacle I'm causing, heaving my not small behind into a run. And the cemetery is prettier than the busy street anyways. I have this cool Run Keeper app on my phone that tracks our mileage and pace, which is fun to use.  

I've been drinking 8-10 cups of water a day, which is a BIG improvement.  I've cut back on refined carbs, and increased the lean protein.   

I feel okay when I'm on the walks, and I've been really surprised that my feet and legs aren't sore at all.  My knee hasn't bothered me at all, even with the little bit of jogging, which I've increased little by little.  Even my hips, which have tended to bother me a lot for almost any reason, haven't been a problem.  In fact, sometimes they hurt before, but not after. 

But... after getting home, eating, breakfast, and showering, I am pooped.  Fatigued.  Done. Wiped out for the rest of the day.  I feel a total energy zap.  Which is the opposite of what exercise is supposed to do for you, right?  And, to make it worse, I get body aches.  Not sore muscles like I might expect.  Body aches all over from my shoulders to my upper thighs, including stomach aches.  Aches, pains, twinges.  That lasts ALL day until I finally take Advil before bed.  Not the awesome high I was hoping to get.  

And... even worse.  Not a single lb lost.  Not even part of one.  Not 1/4 of an  inch lost.  Nothing.  Nada.  I can honestly say I'd be totally willing to put up with all the fatigue and aches and pains if I were seeing results, no matter how small.  But it's pretty lousy to have no positive results AND to feel worse after exercising.  

I'm trying to stay positive and hope that for some unknown mystery of body chemistry, it's all working towards a great result that's just around the corner.   And maybe if I keep going, the aches and pains will settle down too. Natalie and I have a goal of running in a 5k by next summer..  something super fun like the Run or Dye event.

UPDATE:

I decided that maybe, since I'm not so young anymore and I have some health issues that like to complicate things, we'll try things a little differently. First, we'll reserve M, W, and F for our outdoor exercise.  We shortened the distance to about 1.5 mi, but after a short warm up, we jog on and off the entire way (which is bad news for passing motorists).  On alternate days we'll do yoga and upper body weights.  Plus, I decided to try some carbs for breakfast (granola and milk with walnuts), rather than only protein (omelet).  I've felt MUCH better so far today.  Much less fatigue and hardly any aches. I'll keep playing around and fine tuning the specifics so it works...  which hopefully translates to lost lbs.  

My Addiction

My name is Julie, and I'm addicted to spray paint.  No, no...  not huffing it, just using it on anything possible.  Spray paint offers those of us with limited budgets (both financially and artistically) to produce something pretty cool.  

It started when I found out you can spray paint shoes.  What?!  How awesome is that?  So when I decided I had nothing to wear my brown shoes with anymore, I just spray painted them silver.  Problem solved...  a "new" pair of shoes.  (Note: do not try this on real leather shoes).

If you don't want to become aware of the countless ways you can use spray paint to transform your surroundings, do not go on Pinterest and enter "spray paint" in the search box.  You've been warned.  Spray paint old metal folding chairs pretty colors?  Never would've thought, and yet now it haunts my thoughts because I have 4 ugly ones.  

My recent obsession started with this lovely product.

I actually bought this about 2 years ago to touch up some spots on a horse trailer.  It never got done, and we no longer own it.  What we do own are quite a few items the previous owner of this house left behind.  Many outdated and ugly, but free nevertheless, so here they have stayed.  Then I had an inspiration.  What if I took that can of Hammered Bronze spray paint to the very outdated brass lamp?  What if?  

I'm in love with the way this lamp turned out!  It now looks like a lamp I'd actually pay money for, but don't have to...because my friend spray paint came to the rescue.  Since then I have done 2 more lamps.  And a few heat registers.  And the cold air return vent.  I spend my days wondering what else I can spray with Hammered Bronze.  I have a few light fixtures that aren't bad, except for the gold accents.  Well their golden days are numbered.  I also have very old kitchen cabinets I cannot replace yet, but the hardware?  I see Hammered Bronze in their near future!  

I have also found that spray paint of any color turns canning jars into things of beauty that can be used as vases, candle holders, etc.* 

It also transforms ugly picture frames in just seconds.  I had a collection of family photos in a total mishmash of frame types and colors all together in one spot on the wall.  Now the frames are all a black matte color and look like they belong together.  It was about an hour of work including putting the photos back in and cleaning the glass.  

We also took a large, brown framed wall mirror that had been left in Alyssa's pink and black bedroom and painted the frame black with an overlay of glitter.  Fabulous!  

*Just a quick tip for those who would like to try spray painting.  I'm lazy and impatient and hate taking any extra steps so for the lamps, picture frames, shoes, and most items, I have not used any primer first.  I did find that the glass jars don't work well without a thin coat of primer. And of course if painting a light color over a dark finish, primer would be helpful. When in doubt you could always prime.  You can buy a paint and primer in one but I think you get a better value for your money with separate primer since it isn't always needed. 

Overdue update

And then I got busy with school.....................



And lost all time to comment on anything.  At the same time, I wish I had more wonderfulness to report. I have done better in taking my afternoon supplements.  I did better with waking up earlier and going to bed earlier.  I haven't had any diet soda, and though I still have some Crystal light type drinks, I make them with double the water now, so less chemicals. But I still need to drink more. Any actual weight loss has been frustrating and full of road blocks. I got sick multiple times at the beginning of the year.  I'd recover, determine to start exercising...   then get sick all over again. 

I have however gotten much more control over my eating portion wise.  This has been a "two steps forward, one step back" routine, but getting better all the time.  I can honestly say over the last month or so I've eaten less each day than in a long time.  And yet, not a pound has left.  By less I mean that before the next meal or snack, my stomach is truly honestly growling. I've had my off days, yes.  But many more on days.  Even on my "off days"....   church party, birthday, etc..   though I ate more than my new slimmed down portions, I still ate less than I would have at an event like that before.  So, frustration is the key word right now.  I had hoped to lose just 5 lbs before my vacation next week.  But no.  A few years ago, I lost 17 lbs just with cutting back portions, but I also found out I was on too much thyroid and as soon as my dose was adjusted....   weight loss over. 

I honestly feel jealous of all those joggers I see on the street (never thought I would say that).  Because I would LOVE to go out and burn off a bunch of fat like that and feel like I had done something amazging for my body.  But I don't think my body could handle it.  It is my biggest obstacle right now.  I think to myself, "I'm going to do yoga tomorrow", then I wake up with this terrible pain in my wrist that does leave for 10 days.  Why?  I wish I knew.  Did I overuse it?  No.  Did I injure it?  No.  It just shows up with no reason, and leaves as suddenly as it came.  Ack!   And I never know when these will attack me. 

So I've come up with a rotating schedule of types of exercise based on how I feel when I wake up.  If my thumb or wrist hurts, then I can walk.  If my hips hurts, then yoga or upper body weights, and so on.  I might just have no other choice but to try and outsmart my body this way and be flexible (gosh I hate being flexible).  I am determined to be healthier and stronger. 

You never know what you've got til it's gone, right?  When my body was stronger, I was too focused on surviving the day with a bunch of kids, or I exercised, but still ate too much so I never saw results.  Now that I've got it all together mentally...  my body has fallen apart. I will not let my frustrations side line me though.  I'll keep finding a way to work around the obstacles. I don't even wish weight loss were easier.  Just that I could DO what I want to be able to do to accomplish it.  

So far, so good

So far, so good.  Of course that lovely stomach bug helped a little.  Not in losing any weight amazingly.  You'd think 3 days of not eating might have an effect.  Such is my life.  But...it did help "reset" things a little.  I admit I got into a really bad habit through the holidays of just grabbing whatever, whenever to eat.  Having no appetite for several days (why couldn't it stay gone?) helped me to get back to smaller portions, eating when my stomach is growling rather than when I feel like it, and detaching from the need for sweet.  

I have done pretty well with my first round of goals.  I am drinking more water.  I am getting up earlier (though it's closer to 6 than 5:30...still working on that). I am remembering my supplements.  And I did yoga twice this past week. It'll be 3 times this coming week since I'm feeling well.  

One of my future goals is to cut out sweet, both real sugar and artificial.  I think being too hooked on the "sweet" flavor just isn't good, even if it's a zero calorie sweet.  I've stopped drinking diet soda (1-2 a week).  I still have some crystal light type drinks, but after I make some I add about 2 parts extra water so it has that watered down "sports-ade" type taste.  And I'm fine with that.  

This next week school ramps up a notch with writing new kinds of papers in a new kind of way.  But I'll keep up with these goals and work on pulling round 2 together!  

The Details

I am usually a bit over ambitious when it comes to setting goals.  I set lots of them, and even write them down and put them somewhere visible.....   where I can be reminded often of how much I'm not really working on them.  Yeah, I'm awesome.  So for this "totally change my health for the better and lose weight along the way" goal, I am starting small.  I'll put some small, but important habits into place first, before moving on.  

The first round of changes:


Take my afternoon supplements
Morning yoga 3 x a week
To bed earlier and awake earlier
Drink at least 6 glasses of water a day


My supplements are fish oil capsules (for inflammation), vitamin D3 with calcium citrate (for better D3 absorption), vitamin B12 (because that's low too), and papaya enzymes and probiotics (for better digestion).  Here's the thing.  I can't take those first thing in the morning because they interfere with my thyroid hormones.  And for the life of me, I just cannot remember to take more pills in the afternoon (or I remember but many little distractions get in the way....  or maybe I'm just lazy).  


I gave up exercising a while back because with even moderate workouts, I would have pain (not muscle soreness), from some "injury" I don't remember getting. I spent more time recovering than exercising. Thank you autoimmune disease.  But I have some yoga DVDs that show modifications (because I am not thin or flexible enough for all the regular poses).  And now that my mysterious thumb pain seems to finally be going away after 3 weeks, maybe I can actually put my hands on the ground and do yoga, which I really enjoy, but rarely do. 

In order to get up and have time to do yoga, read scriptures, and get a good deal of homework done before I wake the kids up, I will need to start getting up at 5:30.  I'm sure that's no big deal for many of you.  But I'm a night person.  Going to bed at 10pm is hard for me because I'm not tired then.  Even if I got up really early.  But I'll at least be in bed, lights out and work on being more of a morning person than I already force myself to be.

Water.  Simple, right?  I rarely feel thirsty though.  So I don't drink much of anything during the day.  But I feel better when I do.  So when I fill up my glass a few times a day..  I'll simply drink the whole thing rather than just a sip.    

These four changes start now.  I'll put reminders everywhere and make it as easy as possible.  The idea is that in 2 weeks or less I'll be in a new routine with these habits and I'll start noticing some small changes in how I feel. And as soon as I feel I have a handle on them, I'll post my next steps.

The Goal

Here we are, New Year, new beginnings! This all seemed like a good idea the other day.  But I have to say I'm not as sure today.  Maybe that's the nasty junk food and lack of sleep from NY Eve talking.  But, I said I was going to put my biggest challenge out there and hope it would give me more incentive to actually follow the steps in my goal.  

Here it is...  (drum roll)...   



my health
  

I won't get into every little detail (for which you are grateful, trust me), but I have some health issues.  I  have an autoimmune thyroid disease, which causes generally high levels of inflammation throughout my body, even when taking my medication, resulting in aches, random pains that can hang on for days, and a stressed system to name a few.  

I also have this crunchy knee... it "crunches" when I walk down stairs.  It's been crunchy and painless..  and now, not always painless (having THE steepest set of stairs ever doesn't help).  It could be a precursor to arthritis which runs in my family.  And I would like to do all I can to heal or reverse this now if possible.  

I found out I have a ridiculously low vitamin D level.  Which increases risk for cancer, autoimmune diseases (uh huh) and inflammation. 

I am clearly not at anything close to my goal weight.

And I have acid reflux.  

Okay..sadly there's more, but before I start sounding like your great grandmother (or maybe I already have), I'll stop here.   My point is, I'm not super young anymore.  I should be taking these things more seriously.  In the past, I've been too busy being mom to be slowed down by a little reflux or knee crunching.  My motto has been something like "blow it off and maybe it'll go away". But where are we without our health?  Where will I be 5 years from now when it's all gotten progressively worse?  

I've been trying to do better at recognizing spiritual promptings in my life (another goal).  A few months ago, when the thought occurred to me again, that I "should" start taking care of myself better I had an epiphany because this thought came to my mind: 

Why are you so willing to follow other promptings, but those regarding your health you dismiss as just another "should" on your list that you don't have time for, rather than Heavenly Father's counsel for you?  

Yes, why indeed?  And I've thought about that and pondered it...   but as you can see, taken no action so far.  Nothing consistent at least.  Not something I'm terribly proud of.  But that's going to change.  

I won't be just blogging about weight loss, though that needs to be part of the goal. After years of struggling with weight I can tell you I know the secret to weight loss.  Eat less, move more.  So I'm not looking for some magic solution, but I do think a body responds better to diet and exercise efforts when it's in balance on all levels. I believe strongly in the mind-body connection.  I am a big believer in integrative medicine, meaning that Western medical practices and pharmaceuticals don't hold all the answers to our health.  I'll be using meditation, coconut oil, essential oils, prayer, and other things I have researched over the years and found to have great benefits.  And some standard medicines too. 

I have started many times, but have never established hard-core habits with any of this.  I do good for a while,  something sidelines me for a few days... and then I completely forget I was ever doing any of it (how does that happen?).  I'll post soon about the specifics of what I'm going to do and why.

That Ghandi was a wise man

I've been thinking about a quote a read a while back.  

This is true.  But we all do it, don't we?  We all believe things, and yet we don't live them.  We believe in being kind, yet sometimes we aren't.  We believe in being forgiving, but sometimes it's easier said than done.  And we all say we want to be better, but then we don't always make the commitment and do the work it takes to actually be better.  Of course no one is perfect.  But the number of things I believe, and yet don't do is....  uncomfortable.  

I'm generally a fairly private person when it comes to personal struggles and issues. My own family rarely knows what goals I'm working on.  I know plenty of my shortcomings are obvious, and I guess I don't want to be brutally honest about all of them.  It's not out of pride...  (okay, maybe it is)...  it's just that if I blab about a certain area I'm trying to improve, and I fail, then everyone will know about it instead of just me.  Which just deepens the disappointment (or the humiliation)... and the fear of failure, for someone that already has a healthy dose.  Please tell me someone out there can relate to that.  

But I've been thinking for some time of being brave enough to use this blog to hold myself more accountable by letting everyone in on some part of life I struggle with.  I would hope that it would help me stick to my efforts better (and make fewer excuses) so as to not suffer the above mentioned humiliation.  And yeah, I know you have so much going on in your own life that you probably don't care whether or not I reach my goals. But as long as it's out there I think I'll work harder (I hope).  

The beginning of a new year is as good a time as any, right?  Honestly, not a New Year's resolution maker.  Resolutions are just wishes.  Goals are plans of action.  I'd rather set goals.  That means deciding what you want, and outlining the steps needed to get there. I've learned to be a great goal setter.  But I let the many little fires of everyday life take my focus away from what I decided was truly important to me, and then I make excuses, and then forget, and then I fail.  Believing in something and not living it....  

So on New Year's day I'll take a deep breath, lay out my biggest challenge, and get started.  And if it bores you to tears to follow along, it's perfectly okay.  If you don't tell, I'll never know.  I hope it'll still give me the kick in the behind I need. 

Changes

The only constant in life is change (according to Heraclitus of Ephasus at least, but I believe him).  Sometimes life is kind of static, and then there are big seasons of change that wash over us like a blustery storm.  I'm in the middle of one of those seasons right now, which is one reason I haven't blogged in 5 months.   Don't get me wrong, storms aren't all bad.  I like a good rainstorm now and then.  I enjoy the beauty of a brooding sky and love the smell of outdoors after rain.  But change can also be disorienting. 

In the past 6 months or so, my oldest child got married, and second oldest moved out.  I went back to college after 24 years.  We decided to sell our home in the country of 18 years, and move to town.  My "baby" gave up "nee-nees" (nursing), and diapers (like I said, change isn't all bad).  Sadly, I also had a good friend of 12 years pass away unexpectedly and suddenly, leaving a hole in the life of her husband, 4 young children, and those who knew her.  Change can be  challenging, often unexpected, and not always pretty.  

Still, I believe that ultimately, most change is good.  It's the adjusting to it that seems to give me fits. For a unashamed planner, who is never far from her notebook and highlighter, going with the flow is just counter-intuitive (even though it's surely the smarter choice).  

Here are a few things I've learned through some of these changes.

1.  Once children leave your home...  they're still going to need you a lot.  

2.  Algebra is hard.  Statistics may be harder.

3.  Homework takes WAY more time than I ever remember (of course I was single and childless then).

4. "House Hunters" is a lie. Buying and selling a house is not that fun or easy.

5.  Always follow promptings.  Not doing so meant missing out on the chance to tell a great man what a wonderful influence he was on this earth. Doing so allowed me to visit with my friend Angi just days before she died, and that is a precious memory to me.  Lesson learned.  

6.  Children grow at light speed and before you know it they're gone.  People before things (and that includes laundry).  

7.  This too shall pass... and when it does something else will take it's place. "Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" (John Lennon), so just enjoy the simple things.  

8.  My life is not as focused on the important things as it is the urgent things.  And I need to change that.  

9. The simple life isn't what I thought it was.  And I wish I'd learned that sooner.  But better late than never.  

10.  From chaos springs new life.  (I'm counting on that).  But it can be a slow process. 

This is an example of my current chaos.  Our current dining room has looked liked this for 2 weeks already. Note the absence of an actual table. It will be weeks before my new dining room is put together (after the move next week there are wood floors to refinish before furniture comes in).  For right now, I remind myself to just breathe, and remember #s 4, 6, 7, 8, and 10.  It's all good.  

Wedding

For those who missed it, couldn't be there for all of it, or just wanted to see it again...   here it is.  All of these gorgeous photographs are thanks to our wonderful photographer Sara. 

Caitlin and Neil met this past spring.  

And before we knew it, we were planning a fall wedding.  11/11/11 to be exact.  

It was a beautiful autumn day. 

Bride and Groom with some of both families on the temple steps.

I LOVE this!  I'm not sure what these men were laughing about, but I love the happiness, and how Caitlin stands out like a princess among them.

Neil and Caitlin with Neil's parents, Richard and Francisca.  We're so happy to be family now!

We had to have our turn too!

There's a story behind that scowl.  Chloe was convinced for some time that she was also marrying Neil.  So..when she saw them come out of the temple in wedding clothes, she knew she'd been left out.  There were a lot of tears.  In this picture, she still wasn't having any of the attempts to make amends.  

We're proud of the choices they made that brought them to this place on  this day.  We're so happy to see them begin their life together and pray that God will give them all blessings they can hold.

And then it was time to party!

The tables were absolutely stunning thanks to the beautiful chair covers, as well as the lovely centerpieces that Alicia made.    Mauricia and her sisters made all the Mexican food..  and it was GOOD! So many people loaned us things, advice, and help to put this reception on. We appreciate them all!

Caitlin chose some beautiful bridesmaids.

Is it really a party without chocolate?  I think not.  

I may be a little biased, but I think they make a beautiful couple.

This is Neil's "Padre" from Arizona,  who's loved him like a son for so many years.  He was so happy to have him here!

Cake cutting time!

Caitlin wanted dancing.  It was a good choice.  Everyone had so much fun!

Neil danced with his mom.

Caitlin danced with her dad.

Everyone ate, and laughed, and danced.  As Caitlin said once, "Wedding receptions are such happy places!"  This one certainly was.  

Before we know it, it'll be her turn.  Which makes me want to cry like a baby just typing it.  Because Caitlin was this big just five years ago...   well, ok, maybe more than five... but that's what it feels like.  

Weddings and....

Here are some things I've learned about wedding planning. I'm not an expert. Just a few tips from the trenches.   


1.  No matter what colors you pick, you won't find bridesmaid dresses or fabric in that color. Pick the dress or fabric first, and work the entire wedding around that.  Great advice from a friend...  a little too late.  


2.  When it's time to proof read the wedding invitations before printing --  have at least 20 people help you. Really.  Apparently 8 or 9 isn't enough.  


3.  Something is bound to go wrong (see #2).  No amount of excellent planning can prevent it.  Good advice from my daughter's future father-in-law.  It's ok...  we're laughing about it already.


4.  Men don't really have any interest in helping plan the wedding...   except for the food. They definitely care about the food.  


5. You will alternate between feeling totally on top of things one day, and in a hysterical panic the next.


6. What the bride and groom want and will make the most memorable day for them is more important that tradition, what you want, what the magazines say, etc...


7.  The only thing that really lasts from the wedding (besides the marriage of course), is the photographs.  You can find an excellent photographer for a very reasonable amount (with some detective work), but don't skimp on the quality or quantity of the pictures.


8.  Ask everyone you know for referrals for everything.  The best resources/people are usually the ones your friends  have given rave reviews.  


9.  A beautiful wedding can be done for relatively very little money.  There's no need to scale everything down and do without if you just use some creativity and good prioritizing (although I appreciate her willingness to give up the childhood dream of having doves released at the reception...  maybe some things have to give!)


10.  Pumpkin Cupcakes with Salted Caramel Buttercream are TO DIE FOR.  I realize that has nothing to do with weddings (unless you want to serve them at one), but I can't stop thinking about them.  If you try one, you won't either.